Breaking Down ADHD's Biggest Challenges: Task Initiation and Shame

One of the most common frustrations I hear from my patients is that it’s hard to get started—this is known as “task initiation.” It’s not just about procrastination; for many, it’s like hitting an invisible wall that makes even the smallest tasks feel unachievable.

Taking a page from James Clear’s Atomic Habits, if the task is defined very narrowly, it can be easier to overcome hesitation/procrastination. I call this “micronization”.

Micronization in Action

Take laundry as an example. Your self-command “Do laundry” might result in a groan rather than an action; it just feels like too much, which is not an action. But when re-defined into smaller steps, the leap into action becomes a little bit easier. This might look like:

• Gather the clothes that perhaps aren’t where they should be—maybe they’re on the floor, the bed, or the stairs.

• Separate out the whites (do people still do that?)

• Put clothes in a basket, etc.

But maybe that's too big at the moment, so:

• Buy laundry detergent or even

• Put “do laundry” on your to-do list.

Micronization breaks the task into very small steps. It might help you start. And with that first step taken you may find it easier to keep going.

William Dodson lists “task initiation” as one of the highly solvable ADHD problems with the use of medication.

Shame

For people with ADHD, shame is ubiquitous. It seems to follow where ever we go. In the above example, many will experience shame because it's hard to do laundry, hard to get started on this most basic task. It might feel embarrassing that the clothes are on the floor or strewn in every room.

Our self talk is often the biggest driver of shame: “why can't I just do the laundry?” “why can't I just put my clothes where they belong?” Procrastination is a driver of feelings of shame.

Thoughts like, “Why can’t I just do it?” or “What’s wrong with me that I can’t keep things organized?” feed this shame spiral. The truth is that this feeling often blocks you from moving forward and can make the simplest things feel ten times heavier.

For example, areas of personal hygiene, the really boring totally repetitive actions that we need to do every day, even more than once a day: so hard! so boring! And yet not taking care of ourselves makes us feel bad, ashamed.

So if you can use the method of micronization, you might feel a tremendous amount of relief and accomplishment. We all need more of that!

In my practice, I see that accomplishment can tame shame.

If you make the task small and more 'doable', according to this notion, your shame will decrease. Self-esteem and confidence will increase.